Right, that does it. I’ve put up with this series’ nonsense for long enough. I’m going to be mean about everything and everyone in this episode, whether it’s warranted or not. Time to show the blogosphere why I’m called AngryJellyfish. I’ll leave the explanations about the latter part of my username for another day…
The episode starts with Xiaomei and Hank in prison, presumably on charges of trying to forward the plot. They were pretty much asking for it though, breaking into castles without even the laziest attempt at disguising themselves. Xiaomei should have stuck to robbing people in the daytime like all other antiques dealers. As for Hank, being a dwarf, you just know that if he wasn’t activating weapons of mass destruction on the surface, he’d be digging too deep and finding them underground.
The next morning at Le Coeur, it becomes clear that Rick’s baking skills are dropping. Again. Forget the looming threat from pirates, this is a real crisis. So much so that Rick disappears from the bakery without telling his harem. For a series subtitled ‘Bread of Happiness’, he spends a ridiculous amount of time depressed. Meanwhile, Kaguya has also disappeared… I don’t know why they can’t just scatter breadcrumbs all over the place, that’d bring her running. However, we find out where they both are before long.
Our lame protagonist Rick is back home on his ship, lying down uselessly, when another ship beeches right next to his. He goes to see what all the noise is about, and finds several pirates (including Dylan from that godawful 8th episode) limping away, though it’s hard to tell whether they were injured or had simply had too much rum. They warn the islanders about a swiftly approaching armoured fleet… again, I don’t see why they don’t just tame these invaders with mind numbing bread.
Kaguya was abducted by the robot, who proceeds to break into the prison where Hank and Xiaomei are being held. She claims that Kaguya (who she calls her ‘master’) is from another world, and that the aforementioned giant fleet intends to kidnap her. She figures that her master is safest in the castle, far away from the sea. Is rocketing off towards another island not a better option? We’ve already seen what these alien weapons are capable of back in episode 3… back when this series still showed promise…
Rick’s harem finally discover him at the clinic, helping out with the injured pirates. They’re angry, but Rick largely ignores them (he’s gotten good at this over the past few episodes), and instead asks Dylan to tell them how he escaped from the fleet. The only vaguely interesting thing that hadn’t already been mentioned earlier in the episode was that the crew of these ships are serpent men… which I assume is just to make them seem more evil. Also, that way there’s no need for individual character designs!
Meanwhile, for the first time ever, Kaguya manages to speak several sentences without mentioning either bread or her insatiable hunger! She doesn’t want the island that feeds her to be sacrificed, and requests that the doll hand her over to the lizards instead. The doll agrees to do so, but not before handing over Kaguya’s necklace (her most prized possession) to Xiaomei without permission and for no apparent reason, then slicing the bars of her and Hank’s cells with lasers to allow them to escape.
So… the island you’re ruling over is set to be pillaged in a day or so. Rumours and fears are spreading through the village. A laser-shooting robo-lady just crashed through your palace, freed all the prisoners in your dungeon, then sped off again without warning. The moon is an ominous red colour. What do you do? Play the harp and recite poetry, that’s what, because you’re the prince, and the guards will sort everything out. He could at least pretend to look as though he was doing something about it!
As Lagunas narrates, we see clips of the Le Coeur bakers searching for Kaguya, Rick staring vacantly out at the sea, the red moon (again), clouds (not I.G.’s best ones either), and Xiaomei and Hank’s escape from prison. Attempted escape, I should say, because after scaling the wall they find themselves surrounded on the other side. Surely they’d have seen the guards from the top of the wall? Anyway, the prince chooses this moment to take the limelight… I take it back, he was less annoying when he did nothing!
In the final minutes of the episode, the serpent man fleet comes into view. The palace soldiers prepare their puny counterattack, while Kaguya and robo-lady fly towards the flagship. The fleet fires at them, which is a bit stupid if we assume they want Kaguya alive for some reason or other. Then there was more bouncing back and forth to Rick and Co., and Xiaomei and Hank… at least this time they had a decent insert theme instead of Lagunas’ prattling. Then it ended, before anything really interesting could happen.
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Reading this back, it’s a lot less angry than I wanted it to be… it seems that even at this point I struggle to truly hate Shining Hearts – it’s just so bland and inoffensive! 😛
AngryJellyfish's Blog 
That really wasn’t very angry. I love this show it’s sort of like Baka to Test only with less slapstick, tsunderes and boob jokes and with added bread. Once you see it like that the show is actually quite entertaining. I like making fun of it with my friends.
I was trying to come up with a name for that strategy where you put all of your infantry in groups on the beach to deal with the cannon fire from an enemy ship. I think the point is to force the enemy to use up all his cannon shells on your troops so he won’t have any more for the rest of the island or maybe its to make the beach so full of holes and bodies that the ship crew can’t land.
Of course you have to wonder why Kaguya doesn’t just nuke the bad guys long range the way she did in episode 3 but I suppose that solution doesn’t involve bread so its no good.
It is also interesting that for an island paranoid about things from the sea they have no navy and no anti ship capabilities. Just (good) pirates and fishermen.
Meh, maybe I’ll go back and edit some more insults into it. I think Rick got off lightly, probably because I’ve teased him enough in earlier posts.
So it’s like Baka Test… with none of the things that made Baka Test good? Okay… I think all that line of thought has done is make me question exactly what Shining Hearts DOES have to offer, something I’ve questioned virtually every week since ep 5.
I assume their poor strategy is down to the fact they’re really not used to fighting. Standing on the beach and trying to look intimidating is all they know, from all the times they’ve gone to confiscate items people have fished out of the ocean. As for the lack of navy, perhaps they’re just trying to cut costs to save the royals money for bread?
Shinning bread is one of those comedies where the humor comes from watching people who are oblivious to the fact that what they are doing is really stupid and nonsensical.
The next episode has so much stupidity and is so illogical that making fun of it is TOO easy.
I must confess, I dropped the bread show after episode eight bored me to death. Also, nothing was happening, no character development, no baking bread either (as you mentioned.) Just absolute nothingness. I still love the prince and his harp, though. If I was him I would ignore my kingdom too, considering how silly it is.
A shame really, when you were speaking (relatively) highly of it this time last month. I’ll be sticking with it until the end, because I never drop something I’ve started, but it was far less interesting to watch (and write about) than I’d hoped it’d be. Apart from my previous post; it was fun trying to make everything rhyme. 😛
This show’s just gone from terrible to atrocious, I see. Well, there is one positive thing to bad shows, movies, and books–at least for me: I tell myself that I could at least write something as bad and expect at least $150,000 for it if it’s a movie screenplay. (One day, I’ll really have to try!) I wonder how much the writer of Shining Hearts got paid?
And the prince reciting poetry and playing the harp reminds me of a story I heard about a certain Japanese daimyo. Apparently, a messenger rushed to see him while this daimyo played go with the news that part of his domain was in rebellion. The daimyo took the news very calmly and finished the go game, which probably took another hour at least, before departing to crush the rebellion. No need to rush things! 🙂
That pretty much sums it up, yes. 😛 I remember enjoying the early episodes despite (or maybe BECAUSE of?) their badness, but recent eps, not so much. At least all this ‘action’ is better than shallow characters pondering over the meaning of their lives – whatever that meaning may be, it certainly isn’t to entertain the viewer!
I suppose you’re right – the prince apprehended them in the end, so clearly there was no need to rush. Though it would have been much more entertaining if they’d escaped while he was preoccupied!